Dear Poor Lucky Me,
Some friends of mine have a beautiful three week old baby boy. I purchased a small baby gift and card, then sent them an email to inquire about a convenient time to drop off the gift. I did not want to show up unannounced nor make them feel obligated to entertain me, hence “drop off the gift.”
A few days later, my friends called and invited me over to see the baby and have a glass of wine. The baby is beautiful. The parents were beaming and the wine was delicious. We had snacks, toured the nursery, and pet their dog. Everything was great.
After a half hour or so I hinted that I should be leaving. The father then asked me “Would you like to hold the baby?” to which I politely declined. My thinking was that I probably shouldn’t be holding a newborn after a few glasses of wine and because my hands had been petting their dog.
Was I being rude? Should I have said yes, washed my hands and held the child? Am I over thinking the entire episode?
Signed,
Dual Income No Kids
Dear D.I.N.K.,
I’ve been known to drop stuff when I’m dead sober and just standing somewhere, doing nothing. I don’t need the excuse of a few glasses of wine and some stimulating conversation to just drop stuff. Sometimes you have to make the right decision, even if it seems out of sync with social niceties. In the end, you’re the one who’s going to feel embarrassed if you drop the wedding cake/baby.
Poor Lucky Me
PLM…hate to break this to you but “would you like to hold the baby” is actually code for “would you like to have a freaky threesome.” That’s what all the kids are saying these days. So, lucky for you that you declined.
I knew it! Thank you for the confirmation of my suspicions.