I am hungry, and your face look so delicious...
Dear Poor Lucky Me,
Being a fan of Lee Greenwood and everything else American, I never would have thought I’d be in the debate that I am in right now. A friend of mine things that The Governator is the most manly/sexiest Euro trash-type leader. I’ve recently come to feel that Putin takes the cake. I’ll give him that Arnold had his day, but it is long since passed.
Please let me know what you think and why…
Signed, Vlad v. Arn
Dear Vlad V. Arn,
This was a difficult decision. I quickly narrowed the list down to Bill Clinton (he’s American but from Arkansas, so, you know), Vladamir Putin, Angela Merkel, Silvio Berlusconi, and Nicolas Sarkozy. I’m sorry but Arnold Schwarzenegger should not be on this list. He was a sexy weird freaky body builder actor. I know he’s now the leader of one of the top ten biggest economies in the world, but that’s not my fault. Putin is sexy in a Hannibal Lecter sort of way. First he’ll wow you with his knowledge of pre-Soviet world political history, than he’ll eat your face. So he should be eliminated based on potential face or genital eating.
Silvio Berlusconi and Nicolas Sarkozy have unfair advantages because they are Italian and French. Really they should be in another contest because the sexiness that runs through their bloodstream is incomparable to people of other nationalities.
That leaves us with Angela Merkel. Angela has survived something that the rest of these leaders only have nightmares about: being pawed by George W. Bush. That oafish grope won her so much respect in my eyes. Somehow she managed to neither vomit nor punch Bush in the crotch, which is what I screamed at the television when I saw the incident: “Punch that Gomer Pile in the crotch Merkel!!” She is naturally very manly, being that she is German. Merkel’s Germanness, in fact, makes her 62% more masculine than Berlosconi and Sarkozy combined. She could beat both their asses in an arm-wrestling competition drunk on a bottle of NyQuil and two Qaaludes.
Angela Merkel is by far the sexiest, manliest, Euro-leader.
Sincerely,
Bill Clinton is very sexy and very Euro-trash, but at the end of the day his American citizenship will prevent him from being really nasty. So he’s off the list through no fault of his own.
Poor Lucky Me
[...] you might get an awkward stomach-kiss. Show me "frolic!" _______________ I refer you to poorluckyme for debate regarding the sexiest Euro leader. I’ve always been a Berlusconi-man myself. The reasons are [...]