Dear Poor Lucky Me,
What’s your position on saying to people “don’t tell anyone this…” or “between you and I”…etc.
Can’t we as humans living in a society assume that all conversations are in confidence? Isn’t it obvious that you don’t want people repeating what you say to other people?
It seems like every time I don’t bother specifically saying to people not to repeat things, they post in on their god damn blog.
Signed,
Let’s Keep This Between You And I
Dear Let’s Keep This,
The thing is, it doesn’t matter if you do or don’t specify confidentiality. People repeat what you say either way if it’s interesting or tragic or stupid or funny.
But the good news is by the second run, the next set of tellers will usually say “don’t tell anyone this” because second hand information is less reliable. By the third and fourth telling you can safely deny it when your own rumor comes back around.
But don’t deny anything using an actual defense. Just say “Psh” and roll your eyes. That’s the non-verbal equivalent of “I won’t even dignify that with an answer.”
Like this:
Them: “Is it true that you got promoted because you slept with your boss?”
You: “Psh” (eye roll)
Them: “Oh yea it sounded like bullshit”
See, your problem is that you probably always keep other people’s confidences. Because you are trustworthy, you assume your friends are. Big mistake. Everyone tries to be trustworthy, but it’s hard. And hard things, while noble, are annoying and time consuming.
Sincerely,
Poor Lucky Me