A couple of years ago I had some windows replaced in my old house and got an estimate for a few others that were on their last legs. At the time I thought the sales guy was a bit of a creep but I thought: “Who cares? He’s here for ten minutes and then I’ll never see him again.”
After the windows were installed I thought: “Boy that creep sells a great product, and they got the work done quickly!” So when a little gap – big enough for a chipmunk to sneak in – appeared in the remaining windows, I knew just who to call!
Jason* returned my call in a timely three weeks and said he had to come in person to remeasure the windows. Do windows change dimensions with the passage of time? Maybe, it’s not my area of expertise. So Jason shows up and measures and gives me a long explanation about tariffs and materials and I practiced the art of chit chatting while leading people toward the exit.
We were standing at the front door and I said “Well Jason thanks for your time, let me know when you have the new pricing and I’ll drop off a check.”
Jason said “Ok sounds great. So how have you been?”
“Great.” I said
“Well you look great,” said Jason. “You look like you lost weight.”
“Oh yea,” I said. “I have cancer.”
“Oh no.” Said Jason. “That’s not good.”
“No,” I said. “I guess that’s why they say you shouldn’t comment on people’s weight.
“Yea!” Jason said. “Well have a good day!”
“You too!” I said as I pushed his dumb ass down the stairs and ran him over with my car. I mean as I opened the door for him and watched him walk out.
Is there a moral to this story? No, because this will not stop this man from commenting on another woman’s body. But it did feel good to use my cancer to humiliate a creep, even for just a few moments.
*Name has not been changed because fuck that guy