An Open Letter To The Cab Drivers In Chicago
Dear Cab Drivers,
I know many of you are good people, even conscientious drivers. But in my long experience, the majority of you drive like the wild west meets paparazzi meets driving school for the blind. And I mean that in the nicest possible way.
I understand that it has to be challenging to drive for 12 hours at a time, often carting drunk douche bags from bar to bar. I can’t imagine how difficult a Friday or Saturday night shift in Lincoln Park must be. The thing is that I live downtown, and work downtown, and I’m polite and a good tipper and never barf in a cab or anything.
So here’s what I’m asking (and I think it’s a small request):
When I hail a cab after a snow storm, do you think it would be possible to pull up PAST any huge snowbanks? That way I can enter your cab without climbing through a pile of snow. Also, then I wouldn’t be staring at the back of your head thinking of swearwords while you drive me to the eye doctor. Or wherever. I don’t know if the typical cabbie move of pulling up so the passenger door is directly in front of a snow bank is a passive aggressive retaliation for all the bullshit you’ve had to endure last Saturday night, or if you don’t realize it, or what. But my idea is please, please let’s change the way we do things now. Together we can make this city a less annoying place to live.
Also, if it’s not too much to ask, since I’m paying for the gas premium and all, could you stop racing to the red light and slamming on your breaks? If there’s some hidden advantage to driving like that then pardon my complaints. My suspicion though, is that your just wildly sick of driving.
I get it, I sympathize with you. I just want to keep my never-barfing-in-a-cab-record clean.
Thanks a lot.
Sincerely,
Poor Lucky Me