Dear Poor Lucky Me,
I am beginning to think that Roland Burris is for real. Could that be? All along I thought he was doing a performance art piece- like pointing out the hypocrisy and idiocy of politics. But it may be in fact that he is just a hypocritical idiot. What do you think?
Signed,
Hopeful About My Own Success in Politics Now
Dear Hopeful,
Hell yea Roland Burris is for real. He’s so for real he has built himself a mausoleum with the words “Trail Blazer” above a growing list of accomplishments. I don’t know if he’ll end up putting “disgraced by desperate attempt to grab power during a political shit storm through an association with one of Illinois most impressive scum bags” I think that’s a little long for a mausoleum inscription.
He’s definitely an idiot, but I don’t think he’s hypocritical. It’s more likely that he believes his own bullshit, which is the most dangerous kind of idiot. This turn in Burris’ fate is unfortunate, because leading up to this point he had an impressive career. He was a man to look up to. But I think it’s fair to be suspicious of anyone who starts listing their own accomplishments in stone. Like a Pharaoh for god’s sake. Not to beat a dead horse, but wasn’t there anyone who said “Ah- Roland, you are really going to look like a self aggrandizing ego maniac if you carve your accomplishments into your mausoleum pre-mortem.”? He should have been friends with me, I would have set him straight.
Sincerely,
Poor Lucky Me
