Dear Poor Lucky Me,
My son is 14 and has a Facebook page. I want to be “friends” with him on Facebook so I can monitor what he does. He said I was welcomed to do so, in fact he agreed so readily I think something is up.
Is he a good boy and I’m a jerk for doubting him, or does he have a trick up his sleeve I can’t even begin to guess at? He hasn’t gotten in much trouble yet, but I watch a lot of talk shows.
Thanks,
Want to be a cool Mom, but not too cool
Dear W.T.B.A.C.M.B.N.T.C.,
I think being a cool mom is overrated. I mean I’m neither cool nor a mom, but I think that it’s sort of wasted effort. What? You need to validation from a stupid kid that you’re cool? You may never get it, unless you buy your children drugs and booze…and then the scale has been tipped to “too cool”. I don’t think there’s an in between.
One time when I was a teenager, we hung out at a kid’s house who had “cool” parents. You know what happened? One night the dad ended up smoking grass in front of us and having a major freak out. We had to lay him on the ground and fan his face with the New York Times and say “Dr. Johnson*, it’ll be ok, Dr Johnson, can you hear us?” It was NOT cool. I guess the grass now is a lot more powerful than it was in the ’60′s. Anyways, that’s what he told us while we swabbed his face with a cool washcloth.
The point is children don’t want cool parents, they want normal, consistent parents who occasionally turn a blind eye to shenanigans. You don’t have to be friends with your son on Facebook, because he knows ways to thwart your spying that you aren’t even capable of imagining. Just ask him to be thoughtful and smart, and to occasionally show you what he’s up to. Remind him that what he puts on-line could be permanent, and could contribute positively or negatively to future job and school applications.
Because kids rarely think their parents know what they’re talking about, you might also want to research “Search Cleansers”. These are people you can hire to clean up a Google search on your name and clear out crap you posted about yourself that you thought would be funny, but now realize just make you look like a drunk. It’s a good service to keep in the Rolodex, just in case.
I’m sure your son is a good boy, for now.
Sincerely,
Poor Lucky Me
*Name has been changed to protect the semi-innocent
