Dear Poor Lucky Me,
I’ve been trying to get back in touch with my high school friends using Facebook.com. They all have accepted my “friend request” but then won’t reply to my messages, superpokes, quizzes, etc. It’s starting to drive me a little insane, and I’m reacting in an unhealthy way. Could it be that these people never really liked me in the first place? Or does Facebook offer an unrealistic ideal of reunited friendships?
Love,
Feeling Friendless
Dear Friendless,
Facebook is uniquely awesome and stupid at the same time. If you are over age 25, you should only be using it to spy on exes and network with people who are older and easily excited by internet quizzes. You can feel free to comment on old friends’ pictures or status updates, but must limit sarcasm and snarkiness.
You must not try to reunite or rekindle any relationships. That makes people feel imposed upon. No one wants to be obligated to keep in touch for the privilege of looking at your “random pics from New Years”. If some one you want to be in touch with reaches out to you, then you can reciprocate. But you should keep in mind there’s probably a good reason you fell out of touch in the first place.
Facebook has been know to be used as a tool to exclude people from events, remind people that they sucked in high school, cruise for random sex partners, and annoy people by sending them endless Lil Green Patches and petitions. In these regards, Facebook is great. I’m always on the lookout for more passive aggressive ways to bother or seduce people.
I’d like to raise the possibility (and I mean this in the nicest possible way) that perhaps you were insane before Facebook? Keep your expectations low and you’ll go far. I think I’m going to have that tatooed on my forearm.
Sincerely,
Poor Lucky Me
