Dear Poor Lucky Me,
I’m bored with my life. I want to shake things up, but don’t want to really make a big change. You know what I mean? What do you think about introducing myself as Dr. and if people question it, making something up- like dictologist. I think that people don’t ask a lot of follow up questions because they don’t like looking stupid.
What do you think?
Signed,
More Than High School Educated
Dear More Than,
It’s comforting that you can rely on people not to ask follow up questions.
Well, not always. Once, while I worked in advertising, I went to a baby shower. I sat next to a sweet old lady who very politely wanted to know what I did for a living. I told her I made commercials. She asked:
“Which commercials have you worked on?”
I said “Um have you seen the Allstate commercial where they drive a car off Marina Towers?”
“No,” she said. “What else?”
“Oh ah have you see the commercial where everything the guy touches turns to Skittles?” I asked.
“No, I didn’t see that. What else?”
“Oh, well have you seen the commercial where the parade balloons all want the Coke?” I prayed this would end soon.
“No I didn’t see that one. What else?” She looked at me so expectantly. So I said:
“Have you seen the one where the old lady falls and can’t get up?”
“Yes” the lady chirped “I’ve seen that!”
“Yea I worked on that one!” I said, smiling broadly.
“WOW,” said my new friend, “but you seem too young to have worked on that.”
I just shrugged and then launched into a long story about some sports injuries I had recently obtained. I kept talking until her face dropped into her soup. Long story short, I ended up giving her mouth to mouth resuscitation but it was worth it.
Sincerely,
Poor Lucky Me
