Dear Poor Lucky Me,
I have to bring something horrible to your attention. I just saw a bumper-sticker (I know, bumper-stickers in of themselves are horrible) that said:
I’m Only Driving This Way To Piss You Off
The guy was driving a Mercedes SUV. I followed him home and am now sitting in my Chevy Nova, parked outside of his house.
Would any jury convict me if I took a baseball bat to this guy’s car?
Yours Truly,
Anger Management Solution
Dear Anger Management Solution,
Unfortunately I am barred from giving you actual legal advice. There was this incident a few years ago where I tried to represent a friend in a public intoxication case and I showed up a little drunk and blah blah blah the Judge made me sign something saying I wouldn’t impersonate some one with legal knowledge ever again.
However, I have had a lot of experience with the legal system throughout the years, and feel like I can safely advice you on what action to take as you’re sitting there in your car.
Do not take a baseball bat to the guy’s car. I know this sounds trite; but that guy’s life already really really sucks. I think that an analysis of the number and type of bumper-stickers you have can indicate how heavily medicated you should be. This guy should be on some serious shit. He is an angry person who gets fulfillment by annoying others. That can’t be healthy.
It’s very important to realize that insane/sad/bitter people will always try and find ways to piss off nice/kind/well adjusted people. It’s an unfortunate side affect of being happy. But you have to have compassion for those people, and for yourself. You have to realize there’s nothing you can do but keep being happy and keep being nice.
Sincerely,
Poor Lucky Me
