Dear Poor Lucky Me,
My birthday isn’t until June, but I’m interested in getting a party and some gifts now. I’d also like an ice cream cake and for all my friends to sing a nice song about me. Do you have any ideas? I don’t want to jeopardize a great birthday celebration when the time comes either.
Best,
Adulthood Is Boring
Dear Adulthood Is Boring,
I respect your needs, but I think this may be tricky to pull off. Let’s see…you could fake a pregnancy or engagement or pretend you’re moving. But that could really backfire. I saw this Dateline where a girl kept pretending to be pregnant for attention then was flabbergasted when her friends and family and the couple who was paying her to be able to adopt the fake baby got mad. A fake engagement is safer, because you can just “break up” but do you have to return the gifts then? A fake move doesn’t guarantee gifts or a song.
Here’s the best idea, but it may take a little time: You need to make a second set of friends. Be sure to keep them totally separate from your current group. Tell them your birthday is six months from your real birthday, then plan your own party! Elect one of the new friends to spread the word that their “presence” is not to be considered your present. Hopefully you’ll find some one who can pull that off with out pissing everyone off. If one of the new friends has musical ability, ask them to write a song for the party. Tell them that you are so impressed by their talent, you want to give them an opportunity to showcase it. Then…tadaaaa! You get two birthdays!
Now, some people might say that this is a very manipulative, dishonest plan. But those are the people that should be in your first group of friends, and don’t know about the second birthday.
Sincerely,
Poor Lucky Me
