Friday, April 3rd

Dear Poor Lucky Me,

I grew a thick luxurious mustache as a joke a few weeks ago.  I didn’t anticipate how much power the mustache would give me.  I’m finding myself to be more assertive, more argumentative, and more self assured than ever before.

I can’t imagine giving the mustache up now.  It’s become a part of me, and I a part of it. How will I feel if I make it permanent and people still think I’m being ironic?

Can I be a mustache man?

Love,

Imbued With Manliness

Dear I.W.M.,

You can, no, you must be a mustache man!  It’s not your fault that people don’t understand the power of the mustache.  You can’t let people’s jealousies and insecurities stop you from exploring the power of the mustache.  It’s intimidating to discover something that completes you- that fills a hole you’ve felt for years.  But don’t turn away now.  Embrace it, let it’s power wash over you and fulfill you.

You have nothing to lose; you can shave the mustache at anytime.  You may have to reexamine your relationship with your mustache if it becomes too aggressive and starts ruling your life, like Blagojevich’s hair.  However, for the time being just enjoy the it’s power and share it’s goodness with the people you love.

Congratulations, you are a mustache man.

Sincerely,

Poor Lucky Me