Dear Poor Lucky Me,
I sit in an open floor plan with a bunch of cool hipsters at work. They blare awful techno music from morning until night, and it’s slowly driving me insane.
I’m too scared to tell them to turn it off for fear that they will think I’m a square (their word, not mine). I daydream of putting this on their computer monitors while they are away at lunch – www.latfh.com as a passive-aggressive retaliation.
What do you think? And please hurry.
Enough with the Ironic Facial Hair Too, Please
Dear Please,
I like the theory behind your passive-aggressive retaliation, but these are hipsters we’re talking about. If it were hippies or goths or IT nerds or foodies, I would be hopeful. But hipsters are steadfast in their belief that they are cooler than you, and me, and everyone from their high school, and all of the customers they have to “help” while they work at Whole Foods or Starbucks.
As a side note- hipsters used to be able to work at record store or coffee shops, but their world is shrinking- thus making them even more committed to their counterculture.
Here’s what you should do: one day come to work wearing the preppiest outfit you can think of. Try and include something argyle, something from a recognizable designer, and something that includes the a nautical word (as in boat shoes, boating slacks, a sailor hat, etc). Be sure to have an elaborate hairdo and carry a best selling puff novel- Harry Potter is a safe choice. Approach the hipsters with great enthusiasm and tell them you love their music. Tell a long anecdote about how you were at the country club golf outing after party and they played the same album. Ask them if they would burn the CD for you and tell them you have a great John Mayer album you think they’d love.
Those hipsters will be too traumatized to listen to anything in their open office space ever again.
Sincerely,
Poor Lucky Me
