You might think that I’m staring open-mouthed at your tattoos or extreme boob job because I’m uncouth. But you are wrong, my friend.
You are actually involved in my on-going performance art piece. It’s called Attention Is As Attention Does (I got the idea from Forrest Gump).
The idea is that you made yourself look like a freak because you wanted attention, so I will please you by staring at you unabashed. You’ll think at first that you’re offended, but you’ll quickly realized how satisfied you feel that your huge earlobe plugs are accomplishing what you wanted.
Not only have you successfully pissed off/freaked out/paid back your parents, but you’ve also made yourself stand out from the crowd. Sure, you have severely limited your career options, but chances are whatever motivated your extreme fashion ideas probably would have stunted your viability in the job market anyways.
So the next time you see some one staring, pointing, laughing, or looking away in revulsion, be proud of yourself. You could be part of an important cultural art project.
At the very least, you look really really freaky, and that’s something.
