Dear Poor Lucky Me,
I just saw someone wearing a hat that was inscribed with the words “Natural-Born Hustler”. I’ve always dreamed of becoming a hustler, but I wasn’t born that way.
Do I have to give up my dream or is there still a chance for me?
Signed,
Born with a silver spoon in my mouth
Dear Born,
Well the good news for you is that no actual hustler would ever be caught dead in a hat like that. In fact, you are more likely to be hustler than that guy just because you don’t own that hat.
While many hustlers are born that way, many more are made. They can be victims of circumstance, low self esteem, misguided about what is cool, or just poseur douchebags. 50 Cent did more harm than good for the legitimate hustler community. Drug dealers and pimps across the nation are doing desperate market research on new labels for themselves.
I just sat in on a consumer test board conducted by two gentlemen who ran a gambling and human trafficking ring. They wanted our opinions on the titles “Monee Mkr” and “Ho Bagger”. It’s sort of sad, really, that hardened street toughs have to resort to such mainstream behavior to find another word for their alternative lifestyle.
In short, you have plenty of time to buy a hat or tee-shirt that labels you as a hustler. You don’t have as much time to recruit a stable of hoes to slang ass for you, but you can do anything you put your mind to.
Sincerely,
Poor Lucky Me
