Well today I officially hate the word “snarky”. I thought it was really funny at first, and very descriptive.
It filled a hole that had long plagued my vocabulary- especially after being informed by the H.R. department that a certain word that begins with a “T” and is a synonym for female genitalia would no longer be tolerated in the work place. Snarky was a great alternative. But I started hearing it more and more- it popped up regularly on T.V. and I heard a newscaster say it. My enthusiasm for the word waned.
I still have the immature inclination to dislike things that become popular. In junior high school I thought the Red Hot Chili Peppers was the coolest white funk band around. I played my Mother’s Milk tape so much it wore out. My jean jacket was covered in pins and patches, and I thought that Flea’s stuffed animal pants were a revolutionary fashion statement.
Then Blood Sugar Sex Magik came out. It was a pretty cool album, if you overlooked the couple wuss-ballads and focused on the funk. My mom was appropriately offended and concerned about most of the lyrics, and I was pleased. Eventually though, I noticed more and more of my classmates were buying and referencing the album.
Girls on the bus would sing “Under the Bridge” until I winced and teared up. They didn’t understand the band like I did. The album got so popular it caused a stir among the school parents, who were collectively offended by the lyrics and tone of the songs.
I stopped trying to convince my friends that there was more to the Chili Peppers and that The Uplift Mofo Party plan was a purer sound. I went home and tore the patches off my jean jacket. I abandoned my copy of Blood Sugar Sex Magik in the back of my closet. I didn’t want to be a part of anything that was trendy and felt a little heart ache that the Chili Pepper’s, as it turned out, didn’t understand me.
The good news is that Led Zeppelin was always there for me, and they were and are a band that transcends trendiness. Stairway to Heaven and D’yer Mak’er might not move me the way they used to, but I’ll always love all of Zeppelin’s songs. And the Rolling Stones of course.
Anyway, the point is that if I didn’t hear that blond ho on The View use the word “snarky” twice in a row I probably wouldn’t hate the word as much as I do today. Or if I didn’t read Gawker so often, I might not even notice how popular it has become.
I’ve set up a meeting with the H.R. director today. Hopefully I can explain this awful dilemma and she’ll grant me an exemption and I can go back to calling people twats.
