Waxing Philosophical – Wednesday July 29

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Dear Poor Lucky Me,
I just read a story about the head of a national sorority that is being thrown out because she was wasting funds including but not limited to; commissioning a $900,000 wax statue of herself, a 46” TV and a gym membership.

 

What is this lady thinking? Why do wax statues cost so much? I remember buying sets of wax candy lips at 12 for a dozen!

 

With Affection,
Intrigued

 

Dear Intrigued,

 

All I know is if a wax figure of yourself is the best idea you’ve got for spending 900k of misappropriated funds, you should probably be locked up for the rest of your life for the good of society.

 

I would at least make myself look really fit and sexy if I was going to have a statue made of myself.  Upon close inspection, the wax figure looks fatter than the real life lady!  Maybe she should have used that gym equipment for a few months before commissioning the statue.

 

And wax?  At least have that thing made of marble for god’s sake.  It’s an outrage.  I have to assume this woman is extremely mentally ill.  You can buy a Bentley for less that $900,000.

 

If you are going to be a sleazy criminal, you should at least buy stuff that doesn’t make people mock you when you get caught.  Remember when the story broke that Ken Lay had purchased a $15,000 umbrella stand?  Actually I’ve got to say that a 15k umbrella stand looks like a home for orphans compared to a wax fat lady figurine.

 

Maybe these are things that people buy when they’ve run out of things that they really want, but still want a thrill from spending dirty money.  I guess I would buy a nacho machine and an ice cream cake machine.  I would also buy several horses of normal, pony, and miniature size.  The miniature ones wear little sneakers and can come into your house.  All combined that list has to be less than a wax statue.

 

I think the statue costs so much because only a mentally deficient person would buy it, so the artist knows it’s cool to jack up the price.

 

Sincerely,

Poor Lucky Me

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