Dear Poor Lucky Me,
I’m starting to think that the news sucks. I mean, it seems like everyone has an agenda and no news source is very reliable.
Do you agree? Where do you go for your news?
With Affection,
Uninformed
I actually get this question a lot. Depending on my mood, I have told people to check out NPR or MSNBC or some other liberal-leaning news source. However, I have recently seen the show Judge Hatchet and I’ve decided that everything you need to know about the world is happening in her courtroom.
It’s amazing to think about what I’ve missed by not watching this show. Judge Hatchett can tell if you’re lying, if you’re a baby’s daddy, if you did or did not sign a promissory not to repay the loan your neighbor gave you to pay your bills when your welfare ran out but your crack habit stayed strong, and so much more.
Judge Hatchett has an agenda: she doesn’t want you monkeying around in her courtroom. She also very reliable: if you question the paternity of your child, she’ll get you the DNA test to prove your girlfriend was running around while you were in jail.
I don’t want to portray the Judge like she’s Jerry Springer. She’s very sophisticated in many ways. People aren’t allowed to fight or scratch at each others eyes. Even cross court arguing is frowned upon. The most she’ll permit is an “I told you” which is what every single person says when she gives a ruling.
Judge Hachett is so awesome I feel confident advising you to just turn to her for your news and entertainment. You won’t be sorry. I mean really, how much do you need to know about the health care system or the stupid economy? Nothing, that’s how much.
Sincerely, Poor Lucky Me
Dear Uninformed,
