Today is 09-09-09. I know you are a gifted psychic, so I’m wondering if there’s anything I should look forward to or avoid on this spooky day?
Superstitiously Yours,
Barry in Florida
Dear Barry,
Thank you, I really appreciate when people recognize my mental powers (both good and evil). On 09/09/09 you should be sure to avoid the following:
Badgers
Cans of Diet Pepsi
Republicans
Sharks (real and gummi)
Velvet
I would explain why all these seemingly unrelated items should be avoided, but you have to be very enlightened to understand. Just keep sharp.
You should look forward to winning $20 from a scratch off ticket at the gas station near your house. Way to go!
Enjoy this magically threatening day.
Sincerely,
Poor Lucky Me