Commitment-Phobe Adds Math To Subtract From Relationship- Tuesday November 24th

3088780713_f631c9e901Dear Poor Lucky Me,


Hi. I needed great courage to reach out to you about an issue that has been plaguing me.


Third grade was a difficult year for me. At eight years old I got a D in Math. It wasn’t just a regular D though, it was a D obtained by enduring hours of taunting and psychological trauma. During the timed math tests- remember the ones with 100 questions, and everyone raced to finish- I would always be last. The teacher would tell the children that everyone had to sit quietly while I finished my test. It was torture. All those eyes staring at me, all those little brains composing mean names to call me at recess.


The thing is, I’m still haunted by people pressing me about timing. That’s why I don’t want to propose to my girlfriend- she’s always like: It’s time to get married, we’ve dated for 8 years. But all those numbers and mentions of time just wig me out.


You get me right? You understand that I can’t be pushed right? Because of the Math thing?


Scared Squared


Dear Scared Squared,


I remember those timed tests all too well. Row upon row of addition, subtraction, multiplication, and worst of all division. I still have nightmares about division. Like I’m a subject in a science lab and I can’t take a breath unless I solve a division problem. I’m gasping and choking and the scientists are yelling “Twenty Eight divided by four!!! Twenty Eight divided by four”. Then it turns into this weird sex dream with Lou Farrigno. Those tests were bad news.


In regards to your relationship: no one should be pushed into getting married. On the other hand: are you sure you’re not channeling your childhood math trauma to stave off committing to this woman?


You have to be really honest with yourself here, and then be really honest with your girlfriend. We can use calculators now, so you have nothing to worry about as long as you’re truthful.


Poor Lucky Me

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  1. Kristin says:

    “are you sure you’re not channeling your childhood math trauma to stave off committing to this woman? “ That is FUNNY!

  2. marjnhomer says:

    Dear Poor Lucky Me

    If this is the girl you want to marry you will ask her when the time is right, no need to think of it in terms of math and school but more as a step towards a blissful future together.

    P.S I loved this post :-)

  3. I came here from ICLW and now I’m going to have nightmares about elementary school math tests… thanks a lot! LOL!

  4. Mrs. Gamgee says:

    Thanks for the chuckle!

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