10 Reasons Why I’d like to Invent A Perpetual Motion Machine (In Order of Importance):
1. It would validate all the times I was late for work and told my boss it was because I was working on my perpetual motion machine.
2. I could laugh in the face of the second law of thermodynamics’ again.
3. People would stop making fun of me about the time machine thing.
4. I could get a special business card made with a witty pun about perpetual motion on the back that only other smart people understood (and good looking people).
5. People would want to come over to my house all the time to check out the perpetual motion machine and I’d be like, “Oh gosh sorry, I’m busy tonight” then later I’d be sitting at home bored wishing I would just clean up once in a while so I could have people over instead of having to always say I was busy. Then I’d do a load of laundry and vow to make plans with people who wanted to see the machine next time because it’s good to stay social especially in the winter.
6. I would have solved the energy crisis.
7. It would be a good way to prove to my parents that high school science never helped any one in the real world. I mean look! That D in Physics did not stop me from inventing the perpetual motion machine.
8. That drinking bird toy that always shows up in my dreams would be a premonition, not a neurosis.
9. I wouldn’t have to keep talking smack about Al Gore because I’ve had an inferiority complex since he won the Nobel Prize and I haven’t won anything except my family’s Thanksgiving Bowling tournament three years ago.
10. I could throw away the fake perpetual motion machine that now sits in the middle of my apartment.
one of the funniest posts I’ve seen in a long time. Just out of curiosity, re: #2, what enabled you to laugh in the face of the 2nd law of TD the first time?
Thank you! The 2nd Law and I had this arm wrestling thing going for a while in high school but I trained really hard and won. It wasn’t very gracious of me to laugh in its face but I was immature back then.