Dear Poor Lucky Me,
In doing some research for my Master’s degree, I’ve been listening to a lot of speeches that George W. Bush gave. They make me feel so nostalgic! It turns out I miss his halting speech pattern and hilarious twang. But even more than that, I miss the solidarity we felt as a nation while we all hated him. I know I know, we didn’t ALL hate him…but towards the end it felt like it.
Now we are all back on opposite sides. As a militant Democrat, I thought I wouldn’t care about the divide as long as we had a competent president. But I’m not so sure. It’s annoying to try and convince people that Obama’s awesome, especially when I don’t agree with a lot of things he’s done so far. Maybe I’m getting old, but I’m just not up for political arguments anymore.
Is it disloyal of me to miss President Bush?
Signed,
Maybe I’ll Join The Green Party
But don’t despair! There are still a lot of things uniting this great nation. Here are a few examples of things that Democrats and Republicans can hate together:
-Comcast
-RCN
-Any cable company
-George Lopez
-Facebook farming your personal information to use later in a world domination scheme
-The fact that a sweater at the Gap still costs $59 even though it was made by children in Sri Lanka
-Bernie Madoff
-The Black Eyed Peas
-Brooke Hogan
If you focus on these issues, you can enjoy your president and still feel a connection to your political adversaries. Everything doesn’t have to be about something, some things can be about how much you hate George Lopez. Seriously, have you seen his show? He makes Ryan Seacrest look like Noam Chomsky.
Sincerely,
Dear M.I.J.T.G.P.,
Political arguments are for people who like to hear themselves talk and don’t really give a crap if the other person listens. Naturally, I love political arguments. I consider them an exercise in using big words and sounding condescending. It’s not like anyone ever changed their mind after a heated political debate.
Poor Lucky Me
Don’t forget to add these to the list:
-chronically hack-coughing cubicle mate
-elizabeth hasselbeck (or kelly ripa)
-critcal mass enthusiasts
-ed hardy/christian audigier tee shirts
-goatees
LOVE that comcast is first on the list. We can definitely be united around hating those incompetent half-wits.