10 Feelings I Frequently Have While Reading People Magazine:
1. Smug-I am reading this publication to be ironic…not because I actually care.
2. Self-Loathing- I actually care about this stuff.
3. Inspired- I like those pet stories and the articles about heroes.
4. Intellectual- I can read People and Thomas Pynchon. Well I never actually finished Gravity’s Rainbow but I own it…
5. Exasperated- I know the real way these people got beach bodies and it doesn’t have anything to do with Pilates. The girls inject horse urine and the guys do ‘roids. Duh.
6. Hopeless- for the future of society.
7. Impressed- by how often I’ll read the “Celebrities are just like you!” section. It turns out, celebrities are not just like me. They’re never shown lying on the couch watching reruns of King of The Hill and eating Andies Candies.
8. Worried- That I may actually be making myself dumber by reading People. I’d probably be better off binge drinking.
9. Curious- About how these stories compare to the current issue of The National Enquirer.
10. Positive- That purchasing People magazine will hurt my chances of running for political office in the future. The people will tolerate a lot, but will surely draw the line at an unhealthy obsession with tabloids.
I remember when I first realized that People was really not all that different from the tabloids (like World News, etc). I was completely shattered… how could I enjoy reading a tabloid???? lol
ICLW