Dear Poor Lucky Me,
Although I’m not a violent person by nature, I can’t stop fantasizing about throwing my coffee cup at my boss’ forehead. Like that scene in Big Lebowski with the sheriff of Malibu?
My boss is fine…I mean he’s like any other boss. But when he’s acting like a jerk, I have to actually put my coffee cup down to resist the urge to bounce it off his shiny forehead.
What does this mean about me? I’m appalled at my own urges.
Yours Truly,
A Drone
Dear A Drone,
Don’t beat yourself up about this though. I know it doesn’t mean you’re inherently violent or lack control of your urges. It just means your boss sucks more than you can admit. It’s not your fault that the Big Lebowski, a truly perfect film in my opinion, provided you with an excellent revenge fantasy.
Stay strong, switch to paper.
Sincerely,
I’ve got good news and bad news. The bad news is once you’ve got that visual in your head, it’s no safe longer to drink coffee from a ceramic mug at the work place. Eventually you’ll find yourself actually lifting the coffee cup and feeling it’s heft as you aim it in the direction of your boss. From there it’s a short trip to “battery” or “assault”. And trust me, they never believe you if you try and say it was a joke.
The good news is if you start drinking from a paper cup, the urge will quickly dissipate. I don’t know the science behind it, but there’s something about that thick, creamy ceramic that just feels so…bonkable. A paper cup allows you to feel the hot coffee and keeps you focused off your boss’ forehead.
Poor Lucky Me
