Dear Poor Lucky Me,
I was reading an article in Vanity Fair about “The Bling Ring” It was a bunch of rich kids who had the balls to break into celebrities’ homes and steal stuff. Their justification boiled down to little more that “We wanted more stuff.”
At first I was outraged. Then I was disgusted. Then I wondered why celebrities don’t have security systems in their homes…
My Grandmother has a security system and all she has to steal is some grapefruit juice and stockings from the 1970′s.
Are celebrities really that dumb?
Signed,
Should I Steal Stuff Too?
Dear Should I Steal Stuff Too,
See, that’s why I live in a 500 square foot apartment with a roommate and a dog. It’s easy to clean (if I were so inclined) easy to find stuff (check the piles on the floor first) and easy to lock up (turn lock on door, latch single window).
The other trick to not getting robbed is not to fill your home with Rolex’s and designer clothes. A Casio calculator watch and two pairs of Levis ought to do the trick, whether your a celebrity or just take a low interest in your appearance. We need to divorce ourselves, as a culture from thinking things are really cool. You know what’s really cool? ACTUALLY BEING COOL. Although that’s very difficult- not for me, but for other people.
Sincerely,
P.S. Don’t steal stuff.
From what I read, the celebs did have security systems. They just also left windows or doors unlocked. So I don’t know if they’re dumb or if they’re houses are just too big.
Poor Lucky Me
