No Taxation Without Information – Thursday March 25th


Dear Poor Lucky Me,


I keep seeing these tax-preparation commercials on TV. You know, the ones where they tell you if you do your taxes yourself you’ll miss deductions and so you have to go to H&R Block or whatever?


Anyway, I’m confused, I thought we didn’t have to pay taxes. Is that wrong? It’s voluntary right? I mean I pay sales tax and whatnot, just not the ones where you have to fill out all the paperwork.


Am I in trouble?


-Name Withheld


Dear Name Withheld,
Many things in adulthood are very confusing, especially if you were properly sheltered and coddled as a teenager. For instance, after college it came as a shock to me that I had to pay my own car insurance and credit card bills. No one told me that a time would come when those bills would come crashing down on my meager salary.


I also had rude awakening to the following events: being required to get my emissions tested, paying for doctor’s bills, feeding myself, awakening myself. These are things that a healthy childhood just do not prepare you for. Slowly throughout my 20′s it finally dawned on me that I would need to make a list. It’s titled: Grown Up Business. Sadly the list has grown longer and longer, to now include: contributing to a retirement account, establishing a savings account, renters insurance, bathing daily. But I get more used to it and enjoy accomplishing things.


I’m afraid you might be in trouble. I advise you to contact a tax attorney right away. The sooner you clear up your past mistakes the better. You’ll be ok, just get your list started.


Poor Lucky Me

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  1. Matt says:

    The ironic thing is that Jesus hates taxes but loves tax collectors.

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