Dear Poor Lucky Me,
I’m sorry if this sounds judgmental…actually no. I’m NOT sorry if this sounds judgmental, I don’t care anymore! I continue to be outraged by people who work in restaurants or grocery stores who have those earring things that stretch the earlobe to a terrifying degree. Do you know what I’m talking about? We called them “Gauges” in college.
They’re horrifying in a normal context, but when I see them anywhere near food I feel like barfing. Violently barfing. Common offenders: Whole Foods, Trader Joe’s, Potbelly.
I want to start a movement banning this kind of ear accessory from places that serve or sell food.
What do you think?
Signed,
Angry and Grossed Out
I used to go to this great bakery on Belmont. Then they hired a new cashier who had had gauges but took them out, leaving behind just the thin dangling loops of ear lobe skin. Sorry, but there’s no way I’m enjoying a chocolate croissant in the vicinity of that guy.
In short, I fully support your movement. I also would like to start a movement to ban heterosexual men from wearing button down shirts with embroidery down the front. Those are awful.
Sincerely,
Dear Angry and Grossed Out,
I couldn’t agree more, and I don’t think it’s judgmental. It’s not like you’re demanding gauges be outlawed, let’s just find another profession for people who sport them. If one were born with gaping holes in one’s ears it would be different, but this is a choice one makes. A fashion choice involving self-mutilation.
Poor Lucky Me
I am with Angry and Grossed Out, and am glad the Poor Lucky Me is to. Those things are like tatoos. You will always be reminded of them when they are “gone”.
So true…although at least tattoos can be painfully lasered off. I don’t know if you can have your earlobe reconstructed.