Announcement- Tuesday March 29th

By now you’ve probably heard the official announcement of my enemy: Glenn Beck. It was a difficult choice to make, sort of like deciding who you’re going to marry. Barring any radical personality changes, I am going to hate this person for the rest of my life. Of course I don’t have to hate monogamously, which is a relief, but it’s still a big deal.


Glenn Beck faced some pretty tough competition. There was my third grade teacher, Sarah Palin, the traffic cop who gave me a parking ticket when I was in my car with the motor running and the engine in drive and my foot on the break, there was Heidi Montag and the dozens of people who currently think they are famous because they appeared on an MTV reality show. Dog the Bounty Hunter’s wife was high up in the running, as was John Edward’s girlfriend, and whoever took that photo of Michael Phelps smoking pot.


In the end, it was Glenn’s unmatched dickheadery coupled with his powerful douchebaggery which is always accompanied by his unsurpassed sleaze that really pushed him into first place. I think he’ll be proud of this accomplishment, and probably will invite me to be a guest on his show. I don’t know yet if I’ll decline, or just go ahead and try and create some on-air chaos.


The point is that this is a really big step I’m taking, and I wanted to share it with my readers. It’s not every day that you find the perfect man to declare as your arch enemy. I feel like such a lucky girl!

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  1. Bob says:

    I would say that he is an enemy of mine as well…although I’m not sure he’s the top of the list. Michelle Bachman, Mitt Romney, and the chick that drew penises on me when I was passed out in college are all strong competitors…but in the end, no one and nothing irks me more than Comcast… and therefore, they are my sworn mortal enemy (can a corporation be mortal?).

  2. Wanna says:

    I would have to give a shout-out runner up to the middle aged bald DB who worked at the Glencoe Bluckbuster in 1991 and refused to rent me a video because I didn’t have my crappy laminated Blocbuster ID card on me.

  3. Lazlo Hollyfield says:

    Maybe I shouldn’t tell you this because I want to keep reading your posts and worry that you may be arrested attempting to crash his visit, but Glen Beck is coming to Chicago in April.

    On second thought, you probably won’t have to crash it as tickets are going for peanuts, just like the stuff between his ears.

  4. Leslie Ann says:

    “unmatched dickheadery” – love your way with words! My brother thinks Glen Beck is the best because he “tells it like it is.” I love my brother despite this grave mistake believing Fox News and its affiliates are real, true news. Love you!!!

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